Starshine
by The Darkest Sunshines
Summary: What happened to Bella to make her so upset... what did Alice take from her and does she despise all of the Cullen's, so the title is opt. so help me out, please put ur suggestions in any rvws, not updating until i reach 30 . BXE NO FLAMES R&R PLEAS
1. North Star

_**Starshine **_

I watched all of the average high school dramas and all of my current peers going abouts. Hopefully I will be out of this hell whole as soon as possible, which, to N.S. is as soon as I find "love." I watched as the old clichés happened for the billionth- literally- time. One girl is chasing the 'hot' guy. That 'hot' guy is staring at the beautiful new girl- me. While the other girl glares idly at me while looking for the next poor boy who happened to be born with decent looks.

It really doesn't take much to scare me you see, especially not this girl, who I later found out to be named Jessica's glare- you see, I am a star. No, no, no, not a famous celebrity or a singer in some country rock band. I mean those beautiful little- well, huge actually- stars that you see while looking up in the sky on a clear winter's night that suddenly make you want to make a wish. You see, I am very intelligent- not that I am bragging- it's just, since I have been alive longer than any other beings of Earth and have seen all of history unravel, I'm pretty sure I am well ahead of the average high school sophomores that I will be meeting here.

Anyways, the reason I am here at Forks High is that the head star- the North Star- decided that it was time I stopped acting so cold towards all of the other stars. So, of course, he decided to send me to a planet where he knew of a perfect 'suitor.' He told me that it was time to experience a little bit of 'love' for once, and yes, I do use quotations, because clearly something as wonderful as this whole 'love' concept must not be for real, nothing so wonderful is. So, of course, at the time, I had done the only rational thing, I laughed, yes, laughed, I laughed until- as this form would have done- I passed out.

I had woken up at three o'clock in the morning, just down the street from the school. I had had no money, no vehicles, and of course, no clothes, I managed to clumsily steal the clothes of another. I realized that N.S. had given me a very unnatural clumsiness, I was also very powerful. I gave myself the most beautiful name that I could think of, Isabella Marie Swan. I had named myself after a girl that I had always envied, she fell in love at the age of twenty, and her love was twenty- five. This was of the only things that gave me hope of the world below me.

She had a beautiful baby boy at the age of twenty- seven, who, unfortunately, grew up without a father, as he was murdered trying to save a little girl. Trying to save a little girl from vampires. He hadn't known it, and neither had Isabella, but I did, and that is why I absolutely hate the whole race. The one mortal that I showed my compassion too, ended up turning me into her whole family's guardian star. I always tried to change the outcome of their lives'. Saving them from the crueller aspects of the world. Rape, murder, molestation, I helped them avoid it all, and somehow, I think that poor Isabella knew, even in death, that her family was being watched over, being protected, and that comforted her last waking moments as she died of a heartbreakingly tragic consumption at the age of forty- one.

I looked down at my sky necklace. It was a circular diamond that came to a point at the bottom, and had a misting swirl on the inside. This misting swirl, is what showed me anything I asked. You see, all stars' souls are connected, we can collect information from each other whenever, wherever. We also each have a sky necklace, which is how we communicate when we are formless in the sky. Now, I can see what you are pondering now. If you are formless, how did you speak? That is easy, we spoke through our souls. We thought intently on what we would say, then the necklace repeated to another necklace, which spoke to our souls. The necklace can and will never falter, we always hear what has been directly said, and see exactly what there is to be seen. While I am here, if there is any reason to have to see the future, I can just think into my necklace and see it, the same for reading minds, finding truth and what not.

Not that I communicated with other stars much, I usually just stuck to my personal pleasures, which were watching over Isabella Swan and Isabella's family only. 


	2. Psychopath

_**Psychopath**_

Anyways, I am now looking at the school- with great disdain- as I notice the shiny silver Volvo I am standing right beside. I noticed that this is where the luxurious smell of vampires is coming from. I knew little of the Cullens, fore all of the people on this Earth that I actually blessed with my downward gaze, the Cullen's only appeared once or twice. But as for the North Star, they seemed to be his little obsession. He was always intently staring down at them, keeping them on a certain path.

Now what this path was, I never figured out.

Now, as to what a star is- you know, before the story begins and you have no idea how the hell I do these things without that blessed vampirism we all love- in it's form anyways. Now, I have deep brown mahogany colored hair, and matching eyes. But, as I have that star fluid inside of me, my eyes mist over when I feel a strong emotion, such as anger, happiness, depression, or 'love.'

I now have a heart shaped face, with full lips and round doe eyes. I also have a slightly hour- glass like, slim figure. My curves were slight, but dramatic at angles. I was perfect! The North Star had given me the perfect image of Isabella Swan.

I am also a very close color to a vampire, as Isabella was, I guess I will just say that my parents were albino. As I walk to my first class, which is English, I am forced to sit beside the most annoying girl possible. The whole hour, I listened to the other stars and my necklace itself, as it told me what this girl, Lauren, was thinking. How about I give you a little bit of a peek at her annoying, petty, shallow mind.

_What an ugly thing, I feel so sorry for her, no wonder she doesn't have any parents, they must have left her in an orphanage with all of the other ugly babies from wherever she came from. How come she keeps looking at her necklace though, it is really pretty! OMG! Maybe I should try to steal it, oh and I love her shirt, maybe she's rich! Maybe I should cozy up to her a little bit………. she's kind of weird though, just like the Cullens._

These are just some of her more sensible thoughts though. You should have heard some of the other stuff, anyways, right before class, I got a quick briefing- from my necklace- what would happen over the next ten hours. I know that ten seems random, but that is as far as it will go when you are not in the sky- and it shows all of the things that will definitely happen, it knows when people will change their minds, and what the outcome will be.

I hadn't seen anything interesting except one of the Cullen's dying. My necklace suddenly turned pink with curiosity- that will change as soon as my inquisitions pass though. A Cullen dying…………. I saw the treaty…………. A werewolf named Jacob………….. blood- ew! Wait, where did that come from, I have never had this aversion to blood- North Star must have given that to me as well as my grace (as if) wait, sarcasm too! He must want me to look like some sot of damsel in distress. I mean seriously, where is he going with this, how would I be able to stay in a relationship without aging, I think I would have to explain that to my life- partner……. If I mange to find one that won't run away screaming from me!

I walked into the crowded lunch room and sat down without a meal, as I didn't eat, and noticed the Cullen's there already. I'm going to have to tell them or North Star would kill me- my human form that is. I slowly walked up to their table as a beautiful blond glared at me in disgust.

Here goes nothing. I plopped down beside Edward, making sure to stay about a foot away from him. He looked at me as if I was crazy. "You may want to be careful while you are hunting tonight, you don't ant to go over the treaty, I saw it, Jacob will kill you," I stated as if talking about a movie I had seen. On the inside I was screaming for me to run away- not because vampires are scary- because I don't like talking to anyone.

The reactions I got were all expected- Rosalie dropped her jaw, and her hair brush, and the others all dropped their jaws as well. Edward turned to me in utter shock at his secret being found out by a girl he didn't know- or could read the mind of- you see, my necklace prevents anything from penetrating my body, mind or soul. Without my necklace, all of the other stars would be able to read my mind, as well as others, I would regain all former injuries, and I would be nothing. When you are a star, your necklace is the only thing you truly have- without a necklace, you aren't a star at all!

Which is why I always must where my necklace, without, I am completely vulnerable to anything, and everything. I wonder what would happen to me? Anyways, Edward started stuttering feebly about how I knew things like that, how I knew things like them, and how I knew of Jacob, the werewolves, and the treaty.

I just slowly tapped my necklace, winked and walked away. I slowly smirked to myself as I saw those that I had met earlier today staring at me. Let me introduce you all. There was shallow Lauren, wannabe Jessica, Labrador Mike, sweet Angela- I actually really liked her, and that's saying a lot for me- and chess club Eric. They were all ogling me like I was crazy.

I sat down and snapped a simple what in mostly Lauren's direction. Hey, they look at me like I am a psychopath, I will damn well show them a psychopath! 


	3. Day 1, Maybe

**Day 1, maybe**

So, anyways, after that short incident with the Cullen's, I made my way to my next class- biology. I slowly walked towards the teacher and handed him my slip. He signed his messy, illegible script on the fifth line of the paper and sent me to an empty seat at the back. No one else was in the classroom and it was just Mr. Banner and I. I looked through his mind and found the expected thoughts.

After about fifteen minutes of uninteresting silence (mind reading) I slowly wondered around and out of the classroom. I started to make my way towards the forest when my supernatural, above vampire hearing kicked in. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I can hear, see and smell things two times better than any vampire could even dream of. I am- unfortunately- much weaker than a vampire, in between strong human and vampire strength. But again, I am twice as fast as any vampire as well. When I decide to run, I practically disappear, whereas a vampire is a blurry white streak, I am nothing.

But it is not all that great. I was told that the pain that I felt while transforming into a star would come every seventeen days. This was day one, I will keep track along the way for you. So, anyways, I heard the sound of a vampire slowly approaching, and decided to toy with him- who happened to smell distinctly like Edward, Emmett and... I think that it is Alice as well, the wind is blowing my scent to them, so it is harder for me to smell them.

"Well hello Cullens!" I said in a very high pitched, sing song voice. I heard a thud and a slight "Emmett, you idiot!" said by none other than the very Edward Cullen. "Why, my dear Edward, not nice to poor Emmett now are we?" I heard Emmett's booming laughter so loud that a human would have been able to hear it.  
I looked into Alice's mind to find that she was blocking something. She didn't know about my power, but it was clearly something about Edward. She kept saying the National Anthem to herself in french. Interesting...I would have to look through her mind- through my necklace- later and find out what her vision was.

Edward then walked out of a bush and I noticed that he looked confused. I heard Emmett and Alice run away. He stumbled towards me soberly and asked, "how did you know that I go hunting?" I slowly walked towards him with a goofy grin on my face. "I don't know, how did you know that I was here?" I asked jokingly. He glared at me and I could see that he was dead serious, "how did you know?" he demanded of me. "Easily," I replied, clearly egging him on.

Suddenly, I realized that we had moved so close together that we were practically nose to nose. I smiled hugely yet again and leaned in towards his ear. I quietly whispered so that no human could have had a chance of hearing, "everyone has there secrets now don't they mister Cullen?" I pulled back reluctantly and saw that his glare had slackened slightly. I let out a soft giggle, plastered another, slighter smile on my face and ran at the speed of light towards my biology class. I arrived at the door and went back to my seat at the back of the room.

People were just starting to file into the room when I noticed that there, in the middle of the line was the messy mop of hair that I was hoping I wouldn't see until at least tomorrow. He slowly sat down next to me and I said with a sigh, "not really the dramatic exit that I was looking for but, eh, what can we do?" He let out a slight chuckle as I braced myself for the next hour of slow, confusing interrogations, but all I got was a note in the middle of class with his address and the words 'after school' written in neat elegant script atop a ripped corner of binder sheet paper.

I put a few dots and than a 'maybe' and then of course some more dots. But of course I did this faster than he had. He probably didn't even see my hand racing across the paper. He received it in mere moments. He nodded understandingly, I mean, who would want to go to a house of seven- vegetarian as they may be- vampires without even a thought? I could no problem, I'm too fast for them to even lay a hand on me but, he doesn't know that right?


	4. Day 1 Death, Maybe or Maybe Not

As I walked out of the school that very same day, I couldn't help but wonder, what will happen if I don't go to the Culle

As I walked out of the school that very same day, I couldn't help but wonder, what will happen if I don't go to the Cullen's? I had already decided somewhere in my mind that I would go to their home and let them ask their questions, then I would probably be brought back home by N.S. and remain watching the Earth in what can only be called a morbid fascination.

I call it morbid because, what else can you call having to watch a woman get mugged, or killed, or worse- raped. All of these things we have seen at some point or other, an it is just cruel to watch the human kind turn against it's own _(A.N./ when it comes to things like this, I think that Bella would share my opinions, but even if she doesn't, she does in this story :P)_

I stepped out of building seven and saw all of the Cullen's standing outside of their- well, Edward's- beautiful Volvo. I walked over to them and- after a grueling few minutes- looked towards the almost vacant parking lot. I decided to break are growing awkward silence by putting on a false cheer.

I turned around with a grin to their staring faces and chirped a happy "hello friends!"

The blonde turned to me with a glare that told me I wasn't funny and I heard her barely audible snarl. I turned to her mate, "you should get a leash for your dog, she keeps growling, I'm afraid she'll-" I looked towards her and showed a mocking smirk, "bite me," I finished.

I saw her lunge for me with her teeth bared and sprinted behind her. She reached out into nothingness and caught herself at the last moment before falling. She turned to me, wide- eyed and stuttered- "I- I- I- how- how- how did you do that?"

I turned to Edward and stated, "you should be careful with her, if I were human, I would have been a goner."

I opened the passenger side of the Volvo and carefully stepped in, "am I going with you or not?"

After recovering from their shock they stepped into the car, and as we raced down the road they still sat wide- eyed in their seats. I started to fiddle with my necklace and listened to their thoughts.

_Is she crazy!?_

_I think she's the devil, and we should burn her!_

_I wonder what she's doing…_

At this thought I looked toward Edward who was staring at me. I carefully tucked my necklace into my shirt and crossed my arms over my chest, I stared at him so long that he was forced to return his gaze to the road.

We started to wonder down a winding path that I could only assume led to his house. I stared at the beautiful old Victorian house and sat stone still. "Hello?" Edward seemed nervous as he waved his hand in front of my face. I whipped my head towards him, my face void of any emotions that he could possibly read.

"We're going in now," he stated nervously. I nodded quickly and jumped out of the car. I followed them silently, and noticed when they turned their heads towards me quickly, then away. They were probably seeing if I was still there. As we walked into the house, I saw two other vampires. The high school students had stopped and I walked past them. The older blond stared me down and I felt the cold air before I could really think about it. The small, pixie like vampire had ripped my necklace off my throat and I gasped.

I felt myself fall to the floor, unconscious, still in some way aware of what was happening around me. I heard the pixie, "no, I didn't know that would happen, I didn't do anything I swear!" I heard the panicked sobs and wanted to tell her everything was fine, be sarcastic again, I wanted these beings to know that I wasn't dead.

The darkness pushing in on me was disagreeable though. I could feel myself bathing in it and could feel it floating around me. I think maybe N.S. had decided that I didn't need to be here anymore. I felt like a star again, but I could feel my semi- human body fully and completely. I wonder if a star can die. But then again- maybe it doesn't really matter, whether I die or not, at least I can say that I have lived since the dawn of time, and have been two different species.

**hey pplz, i am sososososososooooooooo sorry that it took me this long to update, ive been having a... rough while to say the least, i havent really been inspired enough to write another chapter of starshine, and i didnt want to ruin the storyline withforced flow. So anyways, i hope you guys aren't too mad at me, and i will totally be trying to get a chapter up for both stories every week.**


	5. Done What To Who?

I could feel the cold pressing in on me, it was like being locked in a meat freezer, and of course, the only sensible sol

I could feel the cold pressing in on me, it was like being locked in a meat freezer, and of course, the only sensible solution to being locked in a meat freezer would be to find the exit- or freeze to death. I could feel hot fingers poking me here and prodding me there, I was probably being examined for something, Doctor Cullen probably thought I had some sort of sickness- I hoped he was right. I mean, what other explanation could there be for this insanity?

I think I'm dieing, I thought idly.

I couldn't move the body that had been forced upon me in the first place, I felt the coldness overwhelm my limbs, like being bound to where I lay with icy ropes. My torso was next, then my head, these icy ropes were flooding my ears, nose and mouth so much so that I couldn't breath. I was choking in it.

I could practically feel the unearthly glow that emitted from my body and wanted it to shut down- the glowing and my body.

The ropes were tightening and the lack of oxygen was making me see spots behind my eye lids, and I felt like my throat was burning. I forced myself back to earth. I could feel my body well enough now, my fingers twitched and I jumped into a sitting position struggling for breath. I could feel my throat now, but could I use it? I looked up at the seven vampires staring at me and realized I could.

I screamed and rolled off of the couch that they had put me on. I crawled toward the front door, still gasping for breath. I pulled myself up by the handle and stood facing them, still clutching the doorknob and gasping for air.

Where had my seemingly simple speed gone? Earlier I was faster that a vampire could ever dream of and now I'm tripping over my clumsy little feet? The vampires were whispering to each other and that was when I realized I couldn't hear them

"What have you done to me!?" I screamed in anger. They stared at me like I was insane. I saw my necklace dangling from the pixie- like vampire's hand. "You did this to me didn't you?" I pointed an accusing finger at her. She looked surprised to say the least.

I fell to my knees, shaking with uncontrollable sobs. "It's all your fault, and now I can't go back," I looked at my necklace once again and sobbed louder. My misty colored necklace had turned from a beautiful, athareal object to a coal black pendant. It looked ominous rather that beautiful.

Rule # 1: Never take off your star charm, lest live as a human forever.


	6. Day 15,The Hitch Hiking Teenage Girl

I can't believe this is happening

I can't believe this is happening. I hate them all. All I did was save their pathetic existence and now they change my whole being! They would pay. Somehow, and someway, they would pay.

And now I had nothing. My head snapped up suddenly as the realization struck. I was human now, clumsy, weak, and slow. I could not live without some sort of residence now. I got off of the floor and started walking out the door. "Wait! Where are you going?" they called after me. I didn't listen though, just kept walking.

I walked down the winding path until I reached the highway. I knew exactly where I was though, that was one advantage. I started to run in the direction of Port Angeles. Maybe I could find another human polite enough to offer me residence for a while.

As I ran I could feel my soft brown hair whipping around my face and behind me. I was starting to get tired though. I knew it was dangerous but I ran across the highway and stuck out my thumb, so that I could get to the direction of Port Angeles.

"Are you crazy?" I heard the shout and knew who it was before I saw him. Edward Cullen was starting to slow down in front of me, his silver Volvo going at a steady, slow speed. "Getting to Port Angeles, what do you think?" I asked, my voice oozing with sarcasm. "Well, how about I take you there?" he asked unsurely.

What? Why would he even ask that. I don't want to go in the same car as a vampire, especially when I don't actually know them, and I'm human. "Wouldn't that be dangerous Edward?" I wanted to gauge his reaction before making my move. "Says the hitchhiking teenage girl," he smirked at me pointedly and I rolled my eyes. I opened the door of the crawling Volvo and grunted as I sat down hard on the leather seating.

"See, it wasn't that hard now was it?" he said slyly. "Whatever," I said glumly. He did a U-Turn when there where fewer people around and started back to his house. "Alice said to give you this by the way." I looked over and in his hand he held my dangling black necklace, all of my memories. "I don't want it," I mumbled quietly

"I'm tired," I stated with a yawn as I turned around and rested my face against the window. I was asleep before anyone could utter another word. I could feel everything around me. I felt Edward lift me out of the Volvo, then rest me on something soft. Then I could hear panicked voices around me, I was shaking, my world was shaking. I felt something pool out of my mouth and I was starting to seize s someone was shaking me.

"Bella!" I heard again, this time it was not Edward or Alice, but Carlisle. "Bella, you have to wake up now!" I am awake, I thought idly. I just can't open these damnable eyes.

I felt myself lifted. My shirt was ripped off of my and someone was pressing down on my chest, just above my heart. It ended then. Someone's mouth was pressed against mine and I opened my eyes with a flutter of eyelashes. "Get off of me!" I screamed into their mouth. Edward backed away from me and a look of relief fled into Carlisle's face.

I wiped my mouth and held my torn shirt over my body. Before I could stop it a tear trickled down my face. "What have you done to me?" I questioned them. "Bella, you have been passed out for two weeks now, and then-" I cut him off as I felt something warm on my face, there was blood all around my mouth. I screamed.

I looked towards the window and I guess no one knew what I was doing, because I clumsily bolted towards it, as it was only a foot away, and crawled out as fast as I could. I must have been on the highest floor because I was plummeting for quite some time. I could see the ground about two yards below me, I was ready to tuck and roll, which I know was stupid, when something grabbed hold of me and turned us so that it was below me.

I closed my eyes for fear of impact and the strong arms around me. I screamed as I felt the vibration of us hitting the ground and the loud crack. I looked down through blurry eyes to see Edward below me. He looked at me as if I was the patient in the mental asylum and he was my nurse. I could see my leg through my line of sight. Oh no.

One of the downsides of being human is the fragile body. The adrenaline passed and I could then feel the pain of my distorted leg. "Aggh," I sobbed. I help my leg into place and cried, not just for my leg, but for everything. For everything and everyone I had ever seen live and then die. For every pain that was as great or worse then mine. For every man and woman who had ever loved and lost.

But mostly I cried for myself. The whole situation was traumatizing to say the least, and I still don't know why I was sent down here. I've bee here for fifteen days, as it was now one o'clock in the morning, and I was despising every second, and every life from on this miserable planet I would now be forced to call home.

**so yes, bella is indeed at the moment feeling a deep loathing for the ullens, but that will change eventually. after many long, laboured chapters and positive reviews :P so anyways, i hope you likes it, and to answer some unspoken questions, jacob is not in this, and if so, will not change the BXE pairing, the pairings will be normal, charlie is not bellas father, and bella will have a later involvement with the stars, just so you know, so**

**pce D.S.**


	7. day 15, Head Logging and Macdonalds

_**LATER THAT NIGHT**_

What can I say for myself now? They gave me the guest room, I gave them a glare, they offered me food, I offered them the finger. It had been going on all day, and half of the night. It was now eleven fifty- four and I was losing my resolve of not staying the night, I mean, where would I go now?

So now I am officially stuck in this room, where there's a television, a computer, and a stereo system with CDs in every drawer. I was miserable, my leg was still throbbing and tears were still steadily flowing down my cheeks at the thought of having to say here, I think I'm going to start a head- log. You know, kind of like a diary, but in my head, where no one can find it and unlock it and read it out at the mall or at the park or at school. Yes, I have also seen many childish movie plots where two siblings or 'BFFNs' as they call them, are trying to get back at each other.

Yes, I know, how petty.

Head- log numero uno- eleven fifty- five, fifteenth day on Earth.

_Wow, I could kind of get used to this._

So, even though it feels like just one day, I have been on this forsaken, wreck of a land for half of a month. I'm sixteen years old here and am in my second year of high school. I was born in January, the first to be precise.

_I know, my birthday is so special._

I think that- while I'm here- I am going to be very sarcastic and, in all, very **bitchy.**

And oh, when I'm not happy, you'll here about it. My least favorite people are actually vampires, and there are seven of them to be exact. I wouldn't call them my nemesis's or anything because that's slightly extreme and I don't have this big scheme to kill them or anything.

Let's start with Alice shall we. She seemed sweet. I could see myself being her friend if she wasn't such a nosy, bouncy, obliviously childish necklace- pulling person who turned me into a human. She does seem sweet though. Her, Esme, and Carlisle are the ones who have been offering me food and what- not. I mean, to offer a totally, emotionally wacky teenager into their home and then give away food (not like they would be eating it though).

Esme was also very nice. She is the only creature here who doesn't piss me off to complete extremes- besides Carlisle. She came up every half of an hour with a new dish. How much food could this woman-vampire make? First it was spaghetti, then tortellini, then she made pizza, after that has been a variety of soft drinks and fast foods. I wouldn't be surprised if next was Macdonalds.

Carlisle was sweet. Though he was persistent, **"Bella, let me see your leg. Bella, eat something. Bella, please talk to us. Bella, why are you in the corner. Bella, please don't cry." **At first it was annoying, but then I started to realize how much compassion that takes, to keep checking in on me like that. He acted like the father I never had. I was glad for it, though, I am a teenager, and every teenage girl overlooks that fact, no matter how many millennia they have been alive, how much they have seen and/or experienced.

Rosalie… well, Rosalie was a bitch. She glared balefully at me. She mouthed death threats. She mumbled about me being a prissy wench, but she was the one living in this beautiful home, with a lover to do her will, and a family that cared about her. Every time she mumble by I told her off. The last time was something along these lines, "cough, ungrateful bitch, cough cough, cough." She had just glared and walked away.

Emmett was pretty cool. He just smiled at me whenever he walked past this room. He seems pretty fun to be around. In fact, I can hear his boisterous laughter as we- or, I and my inner head- log- speak now. I can see us getting close, but like I said… I don't like these guys.

Jasper was very at ease. Then again, I knew of his power, so obviously it's not unexpected. I think that when I first looked at him, I went from angry to feeling so calm I'm almost tired in almost a second. That was what caught me off guard, that he could control his emotional waves so well tat it was almost distortion.

And then there was Edward. Edward was very… mysterious. At first I thought he hated me. Then I noticed some strange fascination with me and where I come from. And then he jumped out a window for me, or for the information. Either way, he seemed to be the one that was always around, whether I needed them or not. Actually, I think I hear someone coming now.

Peace out diary head- log thing.

I could hear the faint yet deliberate footsteps stop just outside of the door, and through the door frame could see the silhouette of one of the residing vampires. Edward walked into the room carrying a tray of- oh Lord- chicken burgers, French fries and two cokes- Macdonalds. This couldn't get any more predictable. "Are you hungry yet?" he asked me… sincerely? I think he had some sort of bipolar disorder.

I just shook my head no and looked the other way. I felt my stomach squeeze tightly and heard the faintest of rumbles, almost undistinguishable to me. But he heard it. "I think you are," he set the food down in front of me and sat cross legged behind the tray. He picked up a French frie and tried his best to look satisfied as the food was swirled around in his mouth. He offered the piece still left in his hand and I stared at it.

We must have sat there for ten minutes in the same position before I tentatively raised my hand and took the last piece of the frie. He seemed satisfied as I rolled the greasy, soft potato- based item in my fingers. I popped it into my mouth and relished in the squishy goodness. He offered me another. And then another. And then the chicken burger, and as I sipped my coke he finally said it. "Would you like to come downstairs with me?"


	8. Loved or Lost?

I stared at him blankly. Me- go downstairs? With him? Where I would have to have a discussion with those dreadful fiends they call _vampires. _I'm so sick of this. See. He uses me for the stupid information about where I come from and what I do. I wonder how the conversation would start, probably something like, "well Bella, would you like to tell us what and who the hell you are now?" I may as well get it over with now.

"Sure," I said meekly as I stared straight ahead of me, just over his shoulder. He saw the look on my face and pulled my gaze towards himself with a soft 'hey'. "Don't worry, no ones going to hurt you. You'll be fine, and we will believe you no matter what. We have seen some pretty insane and crazy stuff, you know how that is," he gazed at me knowingly and I was shocked. I let out a surprised, throaty sound and he just chuckled softly to himself.

He pushed himself up with his arms and as he brushed himself off I watched him reach his pale hand out to me with a simple gesture. I stared up at it for a moment and then glanced at the slight smile on his face. We locked eyes for a moment and I felt my hand move of it's own accord to grasp his firmly. His smile turned into a grin and he swung me up onto my feet lightly. He held me there for a moment, and, with our eyes still locked together, he seemed to communicate to me that he would be beside me all evening, throughout this painful conversation.

I broke eyes contact when I looked at the bright red numbers on the alarm clock. 5:34 already, where did the time disappear to? I would never know, but anyways, we still had to go downstairs to meet the rest of them good and proper. _This is going to be buckets of fun, _my sarcastic, inner Bella practically screamed. Wow, I need to stop bitching on the inside or I would _hate_ being a human.

I looked back to his face for one brief moment and then towards the door. He caught my gaze and let me go. He started to walk slowly, at a human pace that I could surely keep up with. I followed him unsurely and my steps were heavy compared to his silent ones.

I could hear the uneven and heavy thuds of my progressing down the stairs. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. I started to feel a feeling in my stomach which was unfamiliar. Without my necklace fully working and in my possession, how would I know how they would react. They could… kill me. I mean, they could understand (unlikely), or they could send me out, or they could hand me over to the Volturi, or they could rip me to shreds. No one would notice.

As this thought crossed my mind, my steady thud, thud, thud, turned into a thud thud thud thud thud. I felt my leg hit the stairs painfully and my foot hit the stairs in front of me continuously. Suddenly cold arms were around my waist and six vampires were at the bottom of the stairs. Edward spun me around and pinned me against his chest. "Are you okay?" he murmured into my hair. I was stunned for a moment. I felt Edward shake me lightly.

I was snapped from my reverie sharply. Edward was holding me against his chest, shaking me, holding me, being concerned for me. Suddenly my throat was tight and I started to shake my head. The tears were coming quickly and they wouldn't stop. "No, I'm not. I don't belong here," my voice broke many times in those short sentences, and I couldn't even decipher which word from which. But Edward seemed to understand as he held me tighter, still in the middle of the stairs, supporting most of my weight, and in front of his whole family.

Wow, I must seem so pathetic right now. I'm standing here crying into some stranger (well, for the most part) whom I supposedly know nothing about. I feel like laughing at my own stupidity. Suddenly I was whooshed up the stairs and I felt myself softly laid down upon a bed. Edward was above me still as he snaked his arms from behind my back and I felt my head hit the pillow lightly.

I curled myself into a ball and let the sobs shake my body. I felt Edward sit softly on the bed and rub my arm comfortingly. I looked up at him and I could see the genuine concern in his eyes. I felt that all too familiar tug at my heart, the one that I've been feeling as of late anyways. I can only imagine what this must mean. I've seen the movies, watched the love, hate, relationships, break ups. I've seen it all. Love found, love lost, and love gained.

Am I going to be the loser, or the winner?

**A./N - Hey everybody, so you know what this means right? Well if you don't then ask in a review. Anyways, I haven't been getting very many reviews, at least, not as many as I would like, and I don't think I should keep the story going if you guys aren't gong to appreciate it :P ! But seriously, I need those reviews, as of now, I w=am going to have a "top reviewer platform," where I will mention my bet and favorite reviewers!! (and the ones who review the most :P) **

**#1 **littlexmissxcooperx for being able to fit *I love it* into each review :P

**#2 Fresh and Formal, for giving me that long ass rvw ( and being 1 of ma besties :P) **

**#3** and FRK921, cuz they seem cool :P

_anyways, luv ya, I did the typing, so you can do the reviewing, pce out. _


	9. Day 17, Why Won't She Just Die Already?

I was awoken with a sharp pain in my left side. I felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly. "Oww…" I mumbled slightly, knotted hair getting in my mouth. "Oww…" I said slightly louder then the first time. The pain had turned into a deep throbbing, mostly unnoticed by the quicker jabs in my side. I looked to my left, there was no one there. Suddenly the pain had increased to lengths greater then I had ever experienced. I screamed bloody murder.

Suddenly the door was crashed open and I could feel people standing over me. People or vampires that is. The same pain was doubled into my right side. Suddenly my legs were numb, and my fingers were clawing at my arms. I was screaming different things like "make it stop," and "why aren't you helping me?" they seemed to just stand there in shock.

My back arched as the numbness in my legs turned into a ferocious burning. I sat up straight and rubbed and scratched my legs. They were red and raw from my scratching, I could only see blurred colors through my moist eyes.

Then it was at my face. I felt like somebody was pulling my lips over my head, my tongue around my neck.

_I couldn't breathe,_

_I couldn't see._

_Yet they just stood there,_

_Over me._

_I cried for help,_

_I screamed my plea._

_I tried to run,_

_But I couldn't flee._

They seemed to take action then. I felt hands touching my skin, feeling a pulse that I knew was there, frighteningly so. _I think I'm going to die. Slowly and painfully, I'm going to die._

I could hear Carlisle. "Bella? Bella you have to keep your eyes open. Do you hear me? Keep them open. Breathe. Bella, breathe slowly. In and out. Come on. Bella, stay awake. Bella? Bella? Bella, stay awake!"

I felt my head hit the soft pillow with a thud and the pain overwhelmed me. Carlisle was still saying things, but I couldn't hear him, and I couldn't obey him, so what was the point in disappointing him. I'll just go to sleep and everything will be fine.

Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not really in pain anymore. My chest feels heavy, and my head feels funny, but I'm fine. I wonder where my legs went, and my heart beat is funny. It's like, thud thud thud, thud, thud thud, thud.. thud.. thud… thud…..

Hey, that probably isn't very good, sarcastic Bella noted. God how I hated her. Wow, my hearts not beating and yet I'm still thinking coherently, or at all? The miracles of the human body. Then again, vampires do it all the time. _But that's not natural, is it? _Inner Bella always has something to say, I wish she would just die already.

_You mean, kind of like how you just did?_

**Hey everybody! FYI, that poem part in the middle, I wrote that… for reals :P and anywho, I'm going to put the best reviewers every other chapter, so remember, every even number. And if you can't count then that means 10, 12, 14, 16, 20. :P and then if I get more then that :D so anyways, review, preferably AFTER you've read it but either way is good BYE!!! P.s. I know it's short, but it was meant to be that way for a reason, so pls, everyone knows it, I don't need reviews saying, "well, it was kinda short." Yeh, no shit Sherlock holmes. **


	10. Where Do We Go From Here?

I am dead, aren't I? Well, at least I'm sure of what I am. That's I plus, I guess…

I wonder what there is for the dead to do. It's pitch black around me, and it's hard to explain. It's like I'm standing on air, but I can feel something underneath me. Like a cloud, but more solid, and like air?

I remember a song that I heard… it was by a group of girls that I really didn't like at all, but the cong caught my interest, or at least, the chorus did.

_The world_

_Slows down_

_But my heart beats fast right now_

_I know this is the part_

_Where the end starts_

Anyways, I just thought of that song for some reason. I wonder if I'm just supposed to stand here… I can't walk, or sit down, or even kneel. Wait, I see something, far away, kind of like a cloud, it's grey, and swirling, and incredibly misty. It's fairly obtuse, large, and coming straight at me. I bet it's just a thick fog.

It's very fast, in fact, it's right in front of me right now. I guess it just looked far away.

I can see a picture inside of it, fuzzy but definite. There's a boy……… hunched over, beside a bed. Not a hospital bed though, just a bed. He's sobbing, no crying, he can't cry. But he's upset. There's a girl on the bed. She's dead white and cold, and he thinks her death is his fault somehow.

The bronze head of hair looked up at the girl and whispered a quiet sorry. Why does he even care?

Suddenly the fog was swallowing me up. It was all around me, and I could hear a whooshing sound coming from all directions.

Then I was lying there, on the bed, eyes wide, and listening to Edward say how he was sorry. My heart was still un-beating, and I wasn't breathing, but I was alive. But I also wasn't a vampire. So, where do we go from here?

OMG GUYS IM SO SRY!!!!!!!! MY COMPUTER GOT A VIRUS AND I COULDN'T GO ON FANFIC!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T ABONDON ME!!!!!!!!! IM SOOOOORY!!!!!!!!!! Anyways, pls review and ill give you a longer chapter, this was just my small way of apologizing for now updating in FOREVER!!!!


	11. AN IMPORTANT MUST READ OR WILL PAY!

AN IMPORTANT FOR ALL OF MY STORIES!!!

Okay, so, as you know I haven't been around lately, I am going to continue all of my storied starting within this week, I already have a new chapter for dirty little secret, but the catch is……………… dundundudndun, I made myself a new account! :D

Which I am very happy about, as I had too many favorites on this one :P I know, you can never have too many, but I was getting overwhelmed keeping up with all of them!

So, my new account is KaitlynIsabella, I know creative, its my first and middle name, also my account on youtube :D and on myspace :D but not facebook :P

so anywhoss, I don't really have an excuse for not updating except for the fact that ive been really bsuy, as I joined a rep volleyball team this past year, and it took up a lot of my time, so, as you must have figured, all of my stories are going to be transferred onto ym new account, but the reviews can not go with  so that is where you fans come in!

 you gusy can do me the biggest favour of life, and review my stories on my other account like you have for this one! Okay, longest authors not of life, but im done now, so bye! 3


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